Thursday
Oct202005

Stupid Shit

Morning Campers...haven't got much for you today. I'm a bit busy knocking together a fillum project. But I wanted to share this T with you. Maybe you've seen it. In which case, screw you.
fonz.gif I've been settling the raspberry blower into his new crèche this morning. Had to join the other mummies for coffee while they talked about breast-feeding and the pain of separation from their ankle-biters. Didn't have a clue what they were saying half the time. Some of them spoke English but of course nobody thought to translate for me. They gave me black coffee (French style) which went through me like a dose of salts so after ten minutes my stomach was letting off these embarrassing gurgling sounds like a friggin coffee percolator about to orgasm which just added to my discomfort. Kept thinking "I hope I don't have "desus" (Indonesian for the smooth sound of somebody farting quietly). That'd be all I needed. I endured this nightmare for 45 minutes until excusing myself. All these women were in their twenties. They probably thought me Charlie's grandfather. Malkie - the geriatric Dad. Dig this...when Charlie starts asking me for the car keys I'll be 72. That's if I'm still around. And if I have any more nights like the other night (6 million cans of V.B. and a pack of fags) I won't be. Still feeling a bit ordinary. Ah well...you get that. à bientöt thrillseekers. Mal.

Tuesday
Oct182005

Pimp my pushchair muthafucka!

Paris
October 18

I sincerely hope my friends over at Adland aren't pissed off at me for pinching their content. Could you click on the Hyperlink and pay them a visit? Tell 'em I sent you. It's a cool site about advertising. At the moment they are running this great viral ad.. It's from a London hotshop called Maverick. The Director was Seamus Masterson (sounds like a Gunslinger!). The product is L.A.Rush - the game. Way cool.pimpmypushchair.jpg231239-191406-thumbnail.jpg
click to enlarge Dude
I've put my order in to Santa after seeing this. Please tell me what you think. I feel like the Boy in the Glass Bubble sometimes, here in the world of Wally. Tell you what...I'll make it easy for you. Click on "Comment" at the bottom of this entry and give this Pimping Pushchair Bling Baby a rating from 1 to 10. For me, it's gotta be at least an 8. Peace.

Thursday
Oct132005

Dancing Bear Cruelty

2023043492c0a16b41-1.gif Isn't it terrible what some people force their kids to do! This poor little mite had been performing in that stupid suit for four hours when I took this shot. Four hours of "The Teddy Bears Picnic" looped on the boombox. Just out of shot is his Minder raking in the loot. I've already notified the R.S.P.C.C.A.B.S. (Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Child Actors in Bear Suits)

Tuesday
Oct112005

Mea Culpa

Tuesday  11  October

Loches, France

Hey I'm sorry! I had some fancy script in one of the stories and it was making your browser crash. C'est ma faute - it's my fault.  I forgot "k.i.s.s." - "keep it simple stupid".

I've been on holidays in the Loire Valley (yeah took a few piccies) checking out chateaux and using the local library's computer so I haven't had a chance to post. But I will. I've just read on the Sydney Morning Herald's site about the Bozo bank clerk that found in excess of Aus.$250,000 in a Sydney laneway and lost it. Well he stashed nearly half of it in a safety deposit box and had the rest under his desk when a colleague found it and dobbed him in. Der! and Double Der!! Thing is...he could have kept the money legally because no-one  claimed it. Instead he got a 18 months good behaviour bond and the New South Wales Government kept the lolly. What an idiot.

à bientöt! Home tomorrow (the return of the killer blogger).

Tuesday
Oct042005

Bend Over and Take It Like a Man (a date with your Doctor)

Wednesday October 5th
Paris

Across the Channel (or "la Manche" as it's called here) some whingeing Poms have taken offence to a radio ad for the Prostate Cancer Charity featuring Ricky Gervais from "The Office". This from a story running at Adland

NO "SQUISH" PLEASE WE'RE BRITISH.

An ad encouraging men to get checked for prostate cancer, starring Ricky Gervais, most famous for his role as David Brent in "The Office", has been banned from radio waves before nine pm as it was too offensive. A soundeffect has also been removed from the ad - a 'squish' noise - to santize the ad. Why? Well it's a touchy subject (pun intended) I guess. The sound effect is in the ad as Ricky who plays the doctor is inserting a finger to check the prostate.
Ricky is not at all happy with the squish sound being removed: "It's pathetic. One of the reasons that people die of cancer is that they don't get themselves checked. One of the reasons they don't get checked is embarrassment over the issue. The radio authority has actually enhanced this as a taboo."
The Prostate Cancer Charity never intended the ad to run during the day anyway, John Neate chief executive of the charity called the decision to remove the squish 'a disgrace'. You can listen to the ad un-cut in real audio or mp3 from the Prostate Cancer Council

I reckon the Pommies should pull their fingers out and run the ad uncut. What do you think?

Sunday
Oct022005

My Life and Other Lies

Sunday Afternoon October 2
Paris

This has nothing to do with my life. I just liked the title. I've been reading Robert G. Barrett's website (linktext) and it's inspired me like nobody's business. I've always loved his Les Norton books. Here's an uneducated roughie who left school at fourteen (bit like me really) and took up writing when convalescing from an accident at the meatworks where he worked as a boner - you know - playing with sharp knives. He was fiddling around with a writing course at WEA nightschool, wrote a short story which Australian "Penthouse" ran and the rest is history. He's sold over a million books since the mid-eighties. And I love the Merchandising he's doing. Check it out. "Club Norton" T-shirts. Well funny. Don't know whether the rest of the world would get the jokes though.231239-180666-thumbnail.jpg
Robert G. Barrett

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