Let's go (snow)surfing now

getting some air
This could be the "next big thing" on the slopes. The snowsurfer - a snowboard mounted on a ski. But it's gone further than that - there are no bindings - you just jump on and off.

The Barefoot snowsurfer was invented by 27-year old Cornwall surfer Grant Strover. He didn't like the feeling of being strapped on to a snowboard. 231239-270002-thumbnail.jpg231239-270030-thumbnail.jpg

The idea is that you ride the board like a surfboard, rather than a snowboard. On a snowboard your weight is on the front foot. On the snowsurfer it's on the back foot, like surfing. So you just jump on and assume a knees-bent surfing pose and they reckon within an hour you'll get the hang of it and be carving. You also use the upper body more than on a snowboard.The principle is straightforward. The bottom ski is a carving ski, so you move from edge to edge very fluidly. Moving your weight on the larger top board (set 90mm above the ski) has a greater effect on the angle of the ski, which gives you easy turns without too much effort.

no bindings
The snowsurfer doesn't come cheap though. £249 for a "quick release" top deck and truck to attach to any ski. £499 for the complete deal. Comes with a leg-rope so you don't take somebody out with a runaway ski.

See the video and more here -


Off with his Head!

1872-2003.jpgHere, then, is what I was able to note immediately after the decapitation: the eyelids and lips of the guillotined man worked in irregularly rhythmic contractions for about five or six seconds. This phenomenon has been remarked by all those finding themselves in the same conditions as myself for observing what happens after the severing of the neck...

"I waited for several seconds. The spasmodic movements ceased. The face relaxed, the lids half closed on the eyeballs, leaving only the white of the conjunctiva visible, exactly as in the dying whom we have occasion to see every day in the exercise of our profession, or as in those just dead. It was then that I called in a strong, sharp voice: "Languille!" I saw the eyelids slowly lift up, without any spasmodic contractions – I insist advisedly on this peculiarity – but with an even movement, quite distinct and normal, such as happens in everyday life, with people awakened or torn from their thoughts.
Next Languille's eyes very definitely fixed themselves on mine and the pupils focused themselves. I was not, then, dealing with the sort of vague dull look without any expression, that can be observed any day in dying people to whom one speaks: I was dealing with undeniably living eyes which were looking at me. "After several seconds, the eyelids closed again, slowly and evenly, and the head took on the same appearance as it had had before I called out.Here, then, is what I was able to note immediately after the decapitation: the eyelids and lips of the guillotined man worked in irregularly rhythmic contractions for about five or six seconds. This phenomenon has been remarked by all those finding themselves in the same conditions as myself for observing what happens after the severing of the neck...



Welcome to his Nightmare

click to enlarge

"These drawings are an important historical record, not only of a fanatically (albeit well-intentioned) literal view of biblical prophecy, but of the mindset of the mid -1950's. The bomb - the threat of disorder and the breakdown of society - radioactivity - disease epidemics - cataclysms - things which caused the 1950's citizen to break out in perspiration. These are things (perhaps no less impending - who knows?) at which we yawn today. But as you gaze upon Wolverton's images of the ultimate cataclysm, you just might find a few beads of sweat breaking out on your forehead." - from THIS GREAT BLOG


Cats? You're Tripping on Cats?



Men are Mutts...Women are Sometimes Venal

completely off his rocker
completely off his rocker

Thursday August 25

Morning campers. How is your miserable life? Your pathetic existence on this dying planet. Do you think about it much? I know I do.

Is there some grand plan for our lives do you think? Or is it all down to chance? Just a roll of the celestial dice.

Out of the billions of souls on the planet, for instance, what determines who we meet? Or who determines for that matter? Is there some Bozo up there pulling names out of a hat? Or what? I wanna know.

'Cause if there is...I'd like a re-draw. And this time Chief, chuck in more girls. I'd like to meet more women.

("Hang on", I hear the regular readers clear across the pond..."isn't this geezer married?" Well yeah, but just because you've eaten doesn't mean you can't look at the menu, does it?)

So Chief, I'd like to meet more women. O.K.? I like women. You've given half my share to some other clown. Poor bastard...he's out there...wandering around looking for male company...and all he meets is Babes. My Babes.

He's saying "Hey! Where are all the guys? I'm surrounded by women. Where are my mates? I wanna play pool, drink myself stupid, crack on to the barmaid, talk a load of shit and throw up in the taxi on the way home. I've been ripped off!" 

I'm in the corner going " all my mates...I'll trade you for the women."

"You wanna keep the women as well? (greedy son-of-a-bitch) ...O.K....well how about just one good one?"


Call from off camera: "Hey Martha! Come and have a look at this! This Lambe guy's completely off his rocker now. Look at the headline. Now what in tarnation has that got to do with anything in the so-called story, I ask you. Venal - that's a dirty word. What's that doin' there? Humph! Calls himself a writer. Writer my arse. More like write-off! Ha Ha Ha. That was a good one wasn't it Martha...when I'm good I'm very, very good. Hey...let's tell this fella what we think of his stoopid stories...where's that pen Martha...I had it only last week."

There'll be a short intermission while I deal with this interloper. Thank you for your patience. Normal programming will resume in a minute. Lambe, Paris.

SFX: thump! whack! ker-ching

Aw Jesus!...Martha get this lunatic off me...what the hell...Ow!

We're back on air. Thank you for waiting. The interference has been sorted. Coming up next on Welcome to Wallyworld is a delightful new segment on suburban life called "I married a Frog" - kind of like "Lost in Translation" but set in Paris rather than Tokyo. But first this Public Service Announcement -


Hard-Hitting or What!!

pretty graphic
pretty graphic

Wednesday August 24

Have a look at this television commercial that went to air in the U.K. four days ago. It's shot entirely on mobile video phone (apparently the first time this has been done). It shows a group of teenagers having a good time walking along a suburban street. One of them starts to cross the road but is distracted by his friends. He looks one way as he steps into the road but a car comes from the other direction and ....

Six out of ten British teens have either been in an accident/near miss or know someone at school who has. Teens get distracted when they cross the road by talking and having fun with their mates, chatting on the mobile phone, listening to music or just thinking about something else.

The U.K. figures are pretty appalling - traffic is the single biggest cause of accidental death for 12-16 year olds. Last year 146 teens (11-16) were killed as pedestrians and 3,087 seriously injured.

It's not just a British problem. Here in Paris the green Walk sign means nothing. You must give way to the cars and watch out for Kamikaze scooter and bike riders.

With kids all getting into iPod and MP3 players it's getting real dangerous for them just crossing the road.  Wonder if this Ad. will have any impact? (boom boom)



MAZDA Goes for the Points

sex sells
sex sells
...but ends up scoreless for this surprisingly stupid and sexist game.

Monday August 22

A Mazda (U.K.) television ad. suggesting women are sexually stimulated by its new people carrier has received more than 214 complaints and will be investigated by the Advertising Standards Authority.

The advertisement suggests that the Mazda 5 has a "surprisingly stimulating ride" and shows a shop-window mannequin getting erect nipples after riding in the back.

Not Lost in Translation. More like Lost in the Sixties. Or too many Manga comics maybe?