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Friday
May092008

Kiwi Bank Robber Stashes Loot Up Bum

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Moron
Moron of the Year award goes to this Kiwi bank robber who stashed the proceeds of a bank robbery up his date - yes, the rear passage.

A man who robbed the Bank of New Zealand Cromwell branch last week was found with the cash hidden up his anus.

Michael Geoffrey Linn, 36, unemployed, yesterday admitted robbing the bank of around $2000.

The Police prosecutor said Linn had pressed the buzzer to gain entry to the bank and pulled a balaclava over his head.

He then passed a note to the teller. After she filled a bag with what little money she had, Linn apologised, saying:

I'm sorry miss, I didn't mean to frighten you but I'm very, very desperate.

...and very, very stupid. Genius Linn then drove to a lakefront, took off his clothes and set them alight using petrol and papers from his car.

The fire was noticed by members of the public and firefighters were called. Construction workers nearby got there first and, using shovels, rescued the clothing and papers. And guess what? Some of the papers had moron's name and address on them.

When he was taken to the police station, Linn claimed he no longer had the money.

But the plod noticed some rustling sounds from Linn's bottom. Hello hello...what's all this then? they said as they pulled a roll of notes from Linn's bum.

Apparently the money will be destroyed. Tainted evidence and all that.

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