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Wednesday
Aug292007

"The Famous Five" Reform

News this week of The Famous Five, Enid Blyton's characters from her children's books of the same name, are making a comeback - as middle-aged grown-ups in a new TV drama for adults.

Fantastic! I grew up on The Famous Five and The Secret Seven. In a time when not every family had television - we didn't get one until I was fifteen. We listened to radio serials every night and read voraciously.

Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the dog will be reunited 30 years after their original exploits.

Enid Blyton wrote the Famous Five books between 1942 and 1963.

In this new television series, the characters will be in their forties and drawn together to solve complex contemporary mysteries....they will be looking back to a simpler time when their lives were stress-free and more enjoyable.

Hmmm...I don't know about you but I can't wait to see how they turned out. Does Georgina become a lesbian (she was already headed that way)? Does Dick beat the crap out of the Missus and end up in Re-Hab? Is Anne on her third husband and second facelift? And what about Timmy - does he get creamed under a double-decker bus?

What if they re-wrote the original books? How do you think the contemporary storylines might read?

famous-five-01-1951.jpg1. Five On a Treasure Island (1942)
The very first Famous Five adventure featuring Julian, Dick, Anne, and tomboy George along with her beloved dog, Timmy. There's a shipwreck off Kirrin Island and the wreck is full of cocaine! The Five are on the trail, looking for clues... but they're not alone and the Coke is running out.

famous-five-02-1951.jpg2. Five Go Adventuring Again (1943)
There's a thief at Kirrin Cottage! The Famous Five think they know who it is - a Nanny with a gambling habit - but they need to prove it! Where can they find evidence? The casino of course. The discovery of an old map and very unusual hiding place is all they need to get to the bottom of this mystery and uncover the true culprit!

famous-five-03-1951.jpg3. Five Run Away Together (1944)
Who's been on George's island? What is locked inside the the mysterious trunk hidden on Kirrin Island? The Famous Five think they're on the trail of smugglers — until they hear a child scream...and a Belgian accent.

famous-five-04-1951.jpg4. Five Go To Smuggler's Top (1945)
Can there still be Coke-smugglers at Smuggler's Top? The Famous Five go to stay at the large old house, and discover lots of stashes - even in underground tunnels! Then they catch people-smugglers signalling out to sea.

famous-five-05-1951.jpg5. Five Go Off in a Caravan (1946)
On their caravan holiday, the gang are thrilled when they stumble across a circus troupe of midgets. Unfortunately some of the little people have more sinister plans than just clowning around.

famous-five-06-1951.jpg6. Five On Kirrin Island Again (1947)
What is Uncle Quentin up to, all alone on Kirrin Island? Leave it alone Uncle. He won't let anyone visit, not even George and the rest of the famous Five. But Uncle Quentin isn't really alone on the island — some pervert is watching his every move.

famous-five-07-1951.jpg7. Five Go Off to Camp (1948)
Trainspotters in the middle of the night! And they seem to vanish into thin air — but where do they go? The Famous Five are on to it. But the discovery of an unusual underground tunnel system (what is it with Enid Blyton and tunnels?) and a trainspotters wife-swapping group has them puzzled. If they follow the tracks, will they solve the mystery? Or should they follow the wives?

famous-five-08-1951.jpg8. Five Get Into Trouble (1949)
The Famous Five are distraught! Dick has been kidnapped — mistaken for some other dick! The gang finally track him down — to a lonely, abandoned house — but then they too are seized and held captive - completely naked. How will the intrepid Five get themselves out of this fuck-up?

famous-five-09-1951.jpg9. Five Fall Into Adventure (1950)
Julian, Dick and Anne are really worried — George and her devoted Timmy have joined a lesbian commune! Not only that, somebody has broken in to Kirrin Cottage. Could there be a connection? The Famous Five think so, but it's going to be tough getting to the bottom of this kinky mystery.

famous-five-10-1951.jpg10. Five On a Hike Together (1951)
Dick is puzzled when he's woken by a light flashing through his window. Is someone trying to send him a coded message or did he snort too many lines that night? And when the Famous Five hear of an escaped convict in the area, they are on red alert. The police won't help, so the Five have no choice but to solve the mystery alone.

famous-five-11-1952.jpg11. Five Have a Fucking Great Time (1952)
The Famous Five are having a brilliant time — on holiday in horse-drawn caravans — getting absolutely hammered every night on Scrumpy and they've discovered a ruined castle nearby! The castle looked deserted from a distance, but is that a face at the window? Or is it a trick of the light? Just who is hiding in the castle? Posh Spice?

famous-five-12-1953.jpg12. Five Go Down (1953)
Oh no - Somebody is flashing from a homosexual beat on stormy nights — and the Famous Five sense danger. But can they solve this mystery safely?

famous-five-13-1954.jpg13. Five Go to Mystery Moor (1954)
Mystery Moor is aptly named, as the Five discover! There's something dangerous out there, but the gang need help to find out what it is. The travellers camped on the moor in their old bangers are totally out-of-it, so the Famous Five have no other choice but to risk the treacherous mists and torch the travellers cars for a laugh.

famous-five-14-1955.jpg14. Five Have Plenty of Fun (1955)
George is not pleased when Berta, a spoilt American girl, turns up at Kirrin Cottage in the middle of the night dressed in drag! But George hasn't got time to be jealous. Berta is in hiding from kidnappers, and she needs help. The Famous Five must risk danger to help out this stranger.

famous-five-15-1956.jpg15. Five On a Secret Trail (1956)
Camping again! This time the Five have pitched their tent near an old ruined cottage, which looks as though it's been abandoned for years. When Anne hears strange grunting noises at night the others don't believe her...until they see fairy lights. Could the cottage be haunted by a pack of poofs?

famous-five-16-1957.jpg16. Five Go to Billycock Hill (1957)
Hurrah! It's holiday time and the Famous Five are spending it at Billycock Hill nightclub. Most exciting of all, they've made a new friend — a real DJ! But when he disappears with the club's sound system, the Five are puzzled. Could their new friend be feeding a filthy drug-habit?

famous-five-17-1958.jpg17. Five Get Into a Fix (1958)
The Famous Five are having lots of fun in the snow! You know - Vodka shooters, lines of Charlie, all-night orgies. But who is living in the mysterious house near the chalet they're staying in? The caretaker says nobody has lived there for years, but the Five are sure they've seen the terrified, haunted face of Amy Whinehouse at one of the windows.

famous-five-18-1960.jpg18. Five Fuck Off to Finniston Farm (1960)
There is a ruined castle on Finniston Farm, but only the dungeons remain and no one knows where they are! The Famous Five are determined to find them, and whatever else is hidden inside, but someone else wants to find out too. Can the Five get there first?

famous-five-19-1961.jpg19. Five Go Off on Demon's Rocks (1961)
The Five have heard the stories about Demon's Rocks - how once you smoke them you're hooked - but they never thought they were really true! When they discover a secret stash of someone's rocks the myth becomes real. Who does the stash belong to? The gang are determined to snort it all before they're found out.

famous-five-20-1962.jpg20. Five Have a Mystery or Two to Solve (1962)
Is Anal Bleaching really painless? Is it safe? The Famous Five are intrigued to find out, but they're scared too. Are they brave enough to get to the bottom of it all?

famous-five-21-1963.jpg21. Five Are Together Again - This Time Naked(1963)
They just can't leave each other alone. The Famous Five are having fun camping near the home of a famous naturist. But they might have known there'd be a mystery to solve. When the naturist's smelly old jockstrap goes missing, he needs the gang's help to find it. Can the Five get to the bottom of this mystery too?

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