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Monday
May222006

I'm up for it


150768338_6486bf65a1_t.jpgMy favourite word of late appears to be cheesy and I'm sorry but this daft English campaign qualifies for that description. Some tree-hugger called Hannah has come up with the idea of trying to get people to chat to each other on the London Underground or "Tube". (BTW did you follow the BoingBoing story of three months ago on the kerfuffle over the anagram map of the Tube? Could only happen in the U.K. couldn't it?)

The idea is that you wear a badge saying "I'm up for a chat on the Tube". If someone then chats to you, you hand over the badge so they can "spread the love" and then you write to Hannah for another badge and the chatting goes on.

Don't know about you, but the last thing I want when travelling on the Metro or Tube is for some Psycho to try and start a conversation with me. I'd rather wear a badge saying "Piss off and leave me alone" - or as they say here "D├ęgage connard, laisse-moi tranquil!"

There again it might be interesting if you wore a badge saying "I'm up for a shag on the Tube" - I'd like to see that. And I have read in blogs about drunken yobbos defecating on the Tube - yeah, really!...so perhaps there should be another badge saying "I'm up for a crap on the Tube". And across the pond, let's not forget Danny-Boy - our New York wanker His badge is gonna read "I'm up for a wank on the Subway".

p.s. Apparently Rolf Harris is a proud wearer of a "I'm Up For A Chat On The Tube" badge. Enough said. (Not that I didn't like what he did with "Stairway to Heaven")

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Reader Comments (5)

Rolf's Stairway To Heaven was OK. I liked the way he did it irony-free. But did you see him on TV painting the Queen's portrait? Some idiot thought that would make a diverting 50-minute documentary. Of course, it was excruciating - and Rolf revealed himself as the biggest, soppiest, most sycophantic tit ever to stick his tongue up the Royal Fundament. For her part, HRH looked alternately bored and irritated in that "someone get this dreadful little man out of our sight" way. I wish it'd been Prince Philip having his portrait painted, though - he would have told Rolf to fuck off, good & proper.

Interesting development on the London Tube. Shit idea, though. I mean, why buy a badge saying "I'm up for a chat on the Tube"? Badges can rust, or the pin can spring open, and then you've done your money. Better just to get a tattoo on your forehead that says "LOSER".

It reminds me of this thing we used to have in primary school called the "Play Stop". If you found yourself on your own at lunchtime, and had nobody to play with, you were supposed to go & stand at the Play Stop (which was a bright red pole over by the bubblers). Anyone who needed an extra for tip footy or elastics would then know where to go, and no child need ever be lonely or isolated again. In practice, of course, we all intuited that standing at the Play Stop identified you as a friendless bully magnet, and nobody ever stood there. But if they had, they would surely have grown up to be the kind of tragic adult who wears an "I'm up for a chat on the Tube" badge.

I wonder if anyone in Japan has thought about distributing badges that say "I'm up for having some dandruff-flecked salaryman stick his erection into my thigh on the subway during peak hour"?
May 23, 2006 | Unregistered Commentersian
"The play stop" - another lame idea. I just remembered our friend on the New York subway - he'd have a badge saying "I'm up for a wank on the Tube" - http://www.welcometowallyworld.com/quirky-shit/2005/8/27/stroke-of-bad-luck-for-subway-rider.html
May 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterLes Miserable
Oh. Good. Grief.

Whenever I go to London and use the Tube I just want to get from A to B quickly and without being hassled by anyone. I'm usually trying to concentrate on which stop is next, and make my way to the door through the unmoving crowd with whatever ridiculously large sized piece of furniture I've taken with me that day.
May 24, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBec
bec, would you like to elaborate on this habitually taking large pieces of furniture on the Tube thing?
May 24, 2006 | Unregistered Commentersian
How about "I got a Tube you can chat with"

Please hold the microphone firmy and put your mouth just on the end as you talk.. that's it.. now giggle it a little....
May 24, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDeRex

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