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Sunday
Apr092006

Tribe Wanted for Fiji Island

231239-310511-thumbnail.jpg"5000 People. 1 unique tribe. 1 Fijian Island. A tribe is wanted." Says the copy on this new site launched last week. Being the cynic that I am I was tempted to change it to "5000 dreamers. 1 unique tribe (of yuppies). 1 Fijian Island ripe for exploitation. A tribe is wanted." But that's being harsh and unfair and negative and "you're not funny, Lambe" so I'll try and keep an open mind on this. But this seems similar to another adventure I nearly got sucked into - see Fast Words in Fiji in the Short Story section.

Let's start again. Their words, not mine -
"Imagine having a unique influence in the creation of an ecological island community. Imagine being able to visit and stay on that island. Imagine playing an exclusive role in a history-making adventure.

Stop imagining. Start believing.

Welcome to Adventure Island.

231239-310521-thumbnail.jpgThis is your chance to join a unique tribe and help build both an online and real- life community. It’s an opportunity to join a virtual meeting of minds that will generate a new kind of utopian existence, from the comfort of your own computer. As a tribal member you will have the chance to visit one of the most beautiful islands on earth, knowing you’ve contributed to the development of its ecological community. This is your moment to make history on a tiny ripple of rock, jungle and sand in the middle of the South Pacific Ocean."

More here at tribewanted.com

I don't know about this. The copy reads like some half-clever fat bastard sitting in an office in London has written it. He managed to sneak Utopia in there but thank Christ he stayed away from Tropical Paradise and coconut palms swaying in the breeze. Although "tiny ripple of rock, jungle and sand in the middle of the South Pacific Ocean" is getting there. And they definitely lose points for Adventure Island - that sucks. Why didn't they stick with the native name Vorovoro? Now they are just going to get lumped in with the package tour destinations like Beachcomber Island, Treasure Island and Castaway Island. And where's the magic in that, man?

And do I want to be one of the 12 Chiefs of this Utopia if I choose to join? Nope...I reckon that's dead cheesy and the Fijians must be pissing themselves laughing. Can you imagine the wankers that are gonna put their hands up for that? "I'm one of the 12 Chiefs of Adventure Island, don't you know." I suppose they're gonna have Kava-drinking ceremonies next and Tapa-making classes...maybe even head-hunting expeditions. It all seems like a cross between "Lord of the Flies" and "The Beach" but like I said...I'm a cynical bastard and they are not asking for a lot of money to get involved. I notice a hundred and five punters have already joined the tribe. No doubt looking forward to their Tribal Membership Certificate, Tribal Key Chain ID and Island Passport. So...you know...like...Bula! Go troppo on a Fijian Island.

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Reader Comments (13)

Oh. My. God. part of me wants to pay the £120 just to see what would happen. It does come off as a cheesy website at first but then the overpowering advertising starts to work at you and you can almost feel the sand and hear the ocean... almost...
And then you read a bit more and it starts to cloy and you can feel your skin start to crawl.
Nothing would make me happier than to sod off to a desert island. I would probably get the role of chief bottle washer.
April 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterBec
The guy could get 10 times as much money out of these suckers if he promises them they can have sex with their cousins.
That's what people really want...
April 10, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfingers
You're right...they haven't really pushed the sex angle, have they?
April 10, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterdick breath
So why are you knocking Castaway Island? I went there and the pizzas (and cocktails) were great.
April 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterA Capella Go
You forgot that you also get a secret decoder ring..
Listen folks.. you can buy a good sized chunk of Nandi or Suva for a few thousand bucks.. I say screw the social experiment in bad advertizing and grow a pair.

But if they had thrown in hot and cold running native women.. I may have jumped in.
April 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDeRex
http://www.castawayfiji.com/

"where barefoot dreams are born and cares forgotten"
April 10, 2006 | Registered CommenterMalcolm Lambe
... because clothing is optional.
April 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDeRex
sorry mate, my HTML done fucked up!
anyway, I hope you check out gizoogle.com to see how your site looks in American Gangsta Speek.
Peace out!
April 10, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterDeRex
I've just been trying to find out the Basic Wage in Fiji. There isn't one. But your hotel/resort worker can hope to make as much as F$3 an hour - US$1.50 or 2 bucks Australian. A rich country it aint. Industries? - Sugar and Tourism. Asterisk: politically unstable. Foreign investors staying away. Unresolved issues with land ownership particularly NATIVE CLAIMS TO FORESHORE AND BEACHES.
April 10, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterdick breath
I have a friend working over there on a resort as an engineer and they earn easily over 100k and dunno about the tax arrangement either. 2 standards of living like most other poor countries......
April 11, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermushroom
Wow, Wally. I'd seen your posts, but now I've had a chance to check our your blog. I could spend all day here.

Come back to www.Revverberation.com and post. We miss you.
April 11, 2006 | Unregistered Commenternalts
Don't knock the project. Tui Mali from Vorovoro is a fine man and sensible. He's my relative. He sees this as an opportunity for work campers to come and build houses, boats, plant gardens. It's better than the resort tragics and their laziness when staff get $2 an hour. A problem I see is the criteria of the visitors - are they there seriously as eco-tourists or to just to play?
April 13, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterwatcher in oz
How can the organisers claim to be "Eco" when they encourage tourists to travel half way round the world by air (presumably).
The damage to the environment caused by the CO2 produced by the travel must surely be very much greater than any benefit. As I see it, a hundred round trips a week to Europe or USA cannot be offset by a having compost toilet!!
This is phony enviromentalism.
If you want to do some good just donate the £120 p.a. to a sound charity like Sightsavers or MSF
February 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBorneo Bill

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