Lord of the Prance
Sunday, April 23, 2006 at 10:31AM
Malcolm Lambe

2menu_top.gif I can't help myself. I just have to write about this. Irish hoofer Michael Flatley has just brought out his autobiography - "Lord of the Dance: My Story" and his chums at the Daily Torygraph have published a fawning "interview" with him under the "My Perfect Weekend" column with the title "Simple Pursuits on his country estate put the spring back in Michael Flatley's step".

It starts out "If I were at my Knightsbridge home I would probably go to Annabel's on Friday evening. I've been going there for 10 years and I love it because it's classy and traditional. It has a magnificent wine list and Mark Birley to look after you".

Fair enough. To each his own. He goes on to say -

"But I'll forgo even the lure of a ch√Ęteaubriand at Annabel's to return to Castlehyde, my home in Fermoy, Ireland. It dates from 1745 and was once the home of the first President of Ireland, Douglas Hyde. I hope it doesn't sound boastful, but I'll fly from Northolt to Cork in my jet, then by helicopter to Castlehyde."

He adds that he likes to have a pint with "the lads" at Matt Molloy's in Westport after nipping over there in his 1968 V12 E-Type Jaguar.

"I'll find a corner, pull out my flute"...hang on...hang on...it's not what you think "I've played all my life - and get stuck in with the rest of the lads. I know most of them and it's great to be normal for a while. There might be a song, a few jokes and if you are hungry a pot of Irish stew. It's one of those experiences that are good for the soul and good for the heart. Life can't be all champagne."

Then, on the Saturday morning, he tells us he loves to walk alone through the fields of wild garlic on his estate.

"I have 250 acres" he boasts. But he likes company too, he assures us. So Saturday evening "I'll invite a special lady friend for dinner and, of course, I'll wear a dinner jacket. We'll eat in the oval dining room. I've had the dining table made to the exact shape of the room and it can seat 14. The walls are covered in Burgundy silk and the original marble fireplace is intact. The Wilkinson chandeliers and the silver candlesticks will be gleaming. I like soft classical music in the background and I'll choose red wine, perhaps a 1982 Ch√Ęteau Latour. I have a wonderful staff, but I'm a simple guy. I like a good steak with mashed potatoes and peas. Then we'll dance together to Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin. Disco music gives me a headache. Afterwards we'll settle in the library and I'll read poetry - probably Yeats - to her."

Then presumably he'll bend her over the chaise longue and roger her stupid.

Interestingly, later on in the Arts & Books section of the Torygraph, James Walton savages Flatley's book as "300 pages of relentless and repetitive bragging".

He might know how to dance up an Irish storm but in my book he comes across as a complete fucking wanker. "Simple pursuits" indeed. Now I'm just gonna hop in my jet and go off to my country estate for a weekend of the simple life. It's not all Champagne you know. Oh...by the way, Flatley, that Latour is still a bit young to be decanting for your "special lady friend". Give it another 4-5 years. And at $600 a pop I hope she was worth it.

Article originally appeared on flotsam & jetsam from the wordwide web (http://www.welcometowallyworld.com/).
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