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Oh me oh my I'm a fool for you baby

image.php.gifI've been thinking (yeah Frank, I know, makes a change)...this is like being stuck on Gilligan's Fucking Island or something. Or Gilligan's Island plus Voyeurs. There's the original crew - Moi, fingers, La Rue, Pervy, Newman, Frank, Southern Belle, WJ, WCS, mushroom, Lou, Mountjoy, mex, Vic, Kes and some newbies who've outed themselves - Pedant, Jan, Gazza, actonb and Cher from Canadia. Who've I forgotten?

But there's like four hundred natives peeking out from behind the palm trees watching us make out. I don't even know where they're coming from. HEY! You guys. Where you from? What is this....a fucking car accident? Move along. There's nothing to see here. It's just me and my online buddies talking shit.

But seeing as though you're here you may as well have a good look. See the motor under that hood? That's a full-house 454 man. Yeah, that's why we hit the coconut palm - well that and the 1664s we'd been necking at The Three Ducks. And see that big red patch on the front seat? That's not what you think it is, man. That's Sangria. See that sorry fuck sitting in the gutter holding his head? That's Frank. He blames himself for the accident. He was the "designated driver" but unbeknownst to the rest of us was hooking into the dago-juice while trying to chat up some Japanese sheila in the courtyard. She couldn't understand a fucking thing he was saying but Frank kept on 'cause she kept saying "Ah so". Maybe she meant "Arsehole". Dunno. But this is how it all washed up.

So how long you gonna sit on the fence man? We know you're there - we can smell you. Maybe I should stick the "Private Party" sign up? Either that or you take your clothes off and come on in. The water's fine. Just watch out for Pervy - he's on heat.

You still there? Well if you're gonna hang about, have a look at this short Boxing video. I had to watch it three times to see what all the fuss was about - thought it was just a couple of heavyweights exchanging kicks and punches. Yeah, yeah...safe for the office. In fact you might want to show your cell-mates. It's a doozie. Go here - Get your kicks

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Reader Comments (360)

Fuck me dead Mal, that's gross. I nearly lost me Wheaties.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterUncle Pervy
Mal you bastard, I'm with Pervy. I just nearly chucked.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterWJ
Oustanding Lambe, an oldie but a goodie!
I love the way it flops around like a dead baby's arm.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterFrank
How many lurkers???? 400+ Wow Mal. And clearly they're not here for the scintillating conversation.

I figure they're all Jayman's buddies hanging about trying to figure out who we all are so they can come and molest us.

Either that or there's a whole bunch of Chinese people that'll be typing wierd English full of expletives in chat rooms.

Once again, my reduced bandwidth means I cannot see that video!
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterUncle B
Newman...just one word for you - "broadband". Shall I pass the hat around?
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterJerry Seinfeld
No no - no need - They artificially reduce the speed of non work related internet sites at work. Am getting ADSL at home shortly.

February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterUncle B
Hi everybody. I didn't watch the video. I have a very weak stomach and never know what you guys classify as entertainment. Plus, like Uncle B - extremely slow.
I did however have a crap game of golf yesterday, which I quickly forgot after meeting friends at the pub for a quick lunch that turned into a long afternoon - still suffering!
All in all, this is shaping up to be a crap day...

February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterVic
Ah yes, that old video-chestnut.
Spooky shit, Lambe.
I was just thinking this morning on the way to work that we needed to try and lure these panty-waist lurkers out of their lairs somehow...
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfingers
Where do you play, vic...
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfingers
Anywhere they'l have me Fingers. Yesterday at good ol' Hurstville, which is quite a long course. But somewhere different every week. Thinking of trying Mittagong or Moss Vale next week and make a day of it. Mind you, I only play 9 holes, cuts into the drinking time otherwise!
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterVic
Have a hit at Leura or Wentworth Falls on the Mountains, vic. I'd come with you but it's a bit difficult at the moment.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterlambe, paris
Sorry, I thought you were a golfer...
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfingers
I once played 9 holes there in my underpants and spikes after losing a bet on a buck's weekend.
It was very foggy...thank fuck...
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfingers
Oh you were that silly fuck....I seen ya. What's the name of that posh hotel next to the links?
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterlambe, paris
Played out that way a couple of weeks back Lambe. Very good. Also Manly and Mona Vale recently.
No Fingers, I wouldn't call myself a golfer. Just a good excuse for an afternoon at the pub!
One of the guys I used to work with played off a scratch handicap - now that takes dedication.
What about you, do you play??
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterVic
oooooohhh mona
heyyyyyyy mona
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermushroom
Peppers Fairmont, Leura. Average 4.2 out of 5 on reviews. Notably for its location (next to the GolfCourse).

Vic, try Royal Avalon. Easy, short and fun. Or Palm Beach but it's not always open to the Public.
February 22, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterlambe, paris
I play a bit with clients, mostly out at Terrey Hills, coz we got a corporate membership.
Not that keen on it anymore though, as I've been playing since I was 5, so the thrill has worn off.
I used to be off 4 at The Australian, but I'm a 9/10-marker these days. Played 2 weeks ago at TH and had an 80 which included 4 birdies, 6 pars, 4 bogies, 2 double-bogies, a triple and a quad (on a par 3)...
February 23, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfingers
Nice vid - Mal! Morning all.

Reminds me of the the time my illustious rugby career was cut short - smashed in a tackle and my upper arm ended up flopping around that. Hardened forwards were struggling to hold their brekky down too.
February 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterPedant
Do you get your golf clubs around on the stealth vespa, fingers? Seems difficult.
February 23, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterC LaRue

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