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Tuesday
Feb212006

The 12 Steps of Bloggers Anonymous

47389_m.gifYeah, I know I've run this before but some of you haven't seen it and it's my blog so I can do what-the-fuck I like, Frank.

I’d been hanging around THIS BLOG for awhile. I started going there a year or so ago after a friend offered me a taste. I lurked for a time…occasionally commenting. But then something happened - I found myself avoiding friends and family to be with my blog mates – fingers, Smithee, Mountjoy, Chesty la Rue, Mrs J, WJ, Vic, Garry, Uncle Pervy and the gang.

I was hanging with this hard-core crew every weekday and sometimes even the weekend - 14 hours a day was not unusual. Reading every story and the comments. Constantly looking for updates and new posts. Taking my meals by the keyboard. I started losing weight. I wasn’t sleeping properly. My dog ran away with the bitch next door. My wife left me for a Luddite that hated computers and technology.

That’s when I realized I had a problem. That I had become addicted. That I was out of control. My life had become unmanageable. I couldn’t control my urges. It was obvious I needed help. So my best mate has taken me in hand and I’ve joined B.A. – Bloggers Anonymous - and I’ve taken The Pledge.

The 12 Suggested Steps of Bloggers Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over Blogging – that our lives had become completely unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves would restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision NOT to turn our will and our lives over to Bill Gates & Steve Jobs.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and it didn’t look good.

5. Admitted to the BLOG, to ourselves and to another human bean the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have the BLOG remove all these defects of character as long as it left us our email facilities.

7. Humbly asked the BLOG to remove our Site Password.

8. Made a list of all the persons we’d slagged off in the BLOG and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such geezers wherever possible, except for fingers ‘cause he’s a shit.

10. Continued to wake up to ourselves and stopped dropping a HYPERLINK all over the place just to impress the punters.

11. Sought through alcohol and all kinds of dope to improve our contact with the BLOG, and to get out a bit more without the laptop.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other Bloggers and to leave the bloody computer alone.

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Reader Comments (11)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Yeahhhhhhh Mrs J.

You'd have to have been eating something pretty damn spicey, before I'd kick you out of bed if you farted.

Mmmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterUncle Pervy
oh, nothing like a mention on your favourite blog to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
However, I refuse to be completely blogged down - I am taking my handicap off to golf. Will check in later.
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered Commentervic
OK vic, get a hole in one for me.
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterUncle Pervy
Hey Mal, thanks very much for the warning on fingers link. Feel really happy when THAT comes up on my work PC. Am preparing my stuff now and expect to be fired before lunch.
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterUncle B
Just tell 'em it was a genuine mistake - you clicked on a link at this site related to work which definitely isn't in any way shape or form pornographic and hardly ever has a rude word or nuffin.
February 21, 2006 | Registered CommenterMalcolm Lambe
OMG is that MrsJ! she is so cute!
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered Commentermex
I've already covered that Mex
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterUncle Pervy
Mal, why did you draw stooopid beards on Pervy, mex and I, but not on Mrs J...
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfingers
Ha. I found you lot. Thanks Vic for the tip. I will just sit back on the bench here with a herald with holes in it, and try not to look suspicious. When I read the telegraph my lips move.

My recent bout of colds, flus, allergies, neck strain and perhaps a touch of ebola virus have now cleared up. I am back and ready to rant bigger and better and less poxier than ever.

Where do I pay my membership fees? Send money to Paris?
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterGarry
Another paying punter! Could it be? NURSE! My heart tablets quick...someone else is going to PayPal me some dosh.

Now Gazza, what will it be? Tranny shots? Half-naked mex shots? Pervy's bum? "We aim to please, you aim too, please".
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterlambe, paris
I'd welcome you on behalf of everyone, Gazzer, but I know your feelings on the subject of speaking on behalf of others, so let me just say 'Suck my helmet'.
besides, i happen to know the others don't like you...
February 21, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfingers

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