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Wednesday
Jan042006

Aspiring Writers Apply Here

Annalou, the spunk from Adelaide, has found this little gem for us today from a blog called Miss Snark, the literary agent My mate Fingers has a contribution - see if you can pick it. From the Crapometer.

"Out of the dark void came what looked like a giant rabbit followed by small rabbits which had looked as if they had undergone a mutation with three ears and 2 tails. They discovered they were on Rabbitania."

"Weston was known for the firm but genital hold he had on his men. It was one of the reasons he was chosen for this mission over six other equally qualified men."

"Freddy was in the habit of staring at Beverly's legs as they peaked from her Susie Wong slit dresses. She had a dozen of them."

"Something must have happened, since it's not like her to come back naked and not aware of anything."

"The eyes of the braver animals ran down my neck and spine."

"Bastard! I shall severe your soul."

"The afternoon was very calm but consolidated. The birds were singing but were not blithesome."

"He groped in his trousers and came up with a dirty piece of trash which I thought he'd just throw away."

"Stand slow!" a voice rang out with hollow ubiquity."

"When I thought of the poetics of such a confrontation in the blackness of eternity, I laughed sardonically, in a dry voice, to myself."

"Good morning, Anna, Lovely maid," Logo said in a soft voice bowing slightly, "How nice to see your structured form again today."

"The two naked bodies, which were lying beneath the satin sheets, were no longer the people whom everyone, who was anyone, knew whenever reality was in existance."

"Oovil snetch," he growled in his mind."

"My shouted words were lost in the damp chill, and my legs were already beginning to bale out, filling my shoes quickly."

"The willowy king stood tehre with his usually sick disposition. From the faint light in the hallway, his yellow glaring cat eyes pointed at him."

"Kildo threw his waning arms around the large granite boulder."

"Miles looked deep into those clear blue eyes who's debts were infinite."

"Be good," he called after her as he bit back the tears in his eyes."

"Sudenly, all the eyes in the room rose from their fixed positions on the floor to stare at him."

"Mona was on the liquilounge, her dark eyes pouring over him like warm jello."

"John wasn't at all surprised at the transformation of his body into what he believed were light waves."

"Fearless, as he was dumb, he walked over to the edge of the ship."

"Are the shields contoured to the ship" the computer asked breathlessly."

"The universe is a vast region of deep mystery steeped in antiquity."

"Do you want to come over and have a gunfight?" I asked. He seemed a bit loath to answer."

"They were human in every way but they owned the necks, heads, facial expressions were that of a chicken."

"Ejaculations aside, that's one hell of a package to swallow!"

How did you go? Could you pick Fingers' piece?

There's more on the Miss Snark site. What a find Annalou! You're worth more money. BTW. Only two days left to join the Euromillions syndicate :)

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Reader Comments (2)

Don't people pay attention in English class anymore???

January 4, 2006 | Unregistered CommenterUncle Pervy
Very amusing, Lou.
Have you ever seen the results of the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the worst opening paragraph for an imaginary novel ??
Here's the site for the 2005 winners.
http://www2.sjsu.edu/depts/english/2005.htm
January 5, 2006 | Unregistered Commenterfingers

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