I mean really...Does Anybody Give a Bugger?
Tuesday, November 8, 2005 at 11:30PM
Malcolm Lambe

animatedgif5.gif Tuesday November 9
Paris, not bloody Texas

I gotta tell you...I'm narky. I've been building this Blog for three months now. A fair bit of work has gone into it. Especially in some of the short stories. And you know what? In those few months I could probably count on two hands the comments I've got. I know you come visiting. I track you. I see you walking up the drive long before you see the curtain move. I know you're out their Dude. Sometimes I can even smell you. But all you do is have a look around. You don't utter a word. Maybe you come to see if I've cracked yet. Or maybe you just wanna light the dogpoo in the newspaper, ring the bell and run away while I'm stamping on the fire. I dunno. So maybe I'm gonna burn this bitch down. It's a lot of work. Nobody seems to give a bugger...so why should I? I've shared my crap life. I've had enough. I think I might go trout-fishing in the Red Sea or some-bloody-thing. I'm blogged out. Although I must admit I had a whole bunch of rubberneckers from Stumbleupon come visiting last night - nearly 2000 of the bastards - which created a little bit of excitement. It's gonna take me weeks to get the front lawn right again. And do you think any of these gatecrashers would say "Hey Man...love your blog". Well one did...and that almost made it all worthwhile. Check out what she said if you're inclined. Something about she thought I had really nice hair. That's when I knew she was loaded. Anyway 2000 Stumbleuponers stumbled in...55% of the fuckers who bothered to review it said they liked my blog and the others were Morons who can't read and write so I can understand why they might have felt a bit intimidated. "What the fuck Man...I thought this was gonna be like a Walmart Unplugged or something...shit! look at that...that's a story. I know a story when I seen one. But hell man...look at the size of that sucker. You want me to READ IT?! What are you crazy? Come on Mary-Lou..we's leaving...this loser here has a blog where you gotta read. Haven't you got any nudie piccies or somethin' man? We's starving. What's in your fridge? Tell you the truth...we read somewhere that it was some kind of kinky French Porn Site you had happening here. Tha's right! Tha's what we heard".
And so they drag their muddy boots through my nice Blog, peering into all the nooks and crannies, looking for their kicks on Route 66. And after they're gone and I'm cleaning up, I'm thinking "That's the very last time I have "Open House". Fuck them and fuck you if you can't take a joke. Good night and be unkind to your Mother. Lambe, Blogged Out.

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