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Wednesday
Nov232005

Paris Underground

cata-water.jpgWednesday 23 November
Paris

What I've done today, as if you give a shit - right?
1.Dropped the raspberry-blower off at la crèche. He gave me the usual hard stare when I left which means, I guess, "Thanks prick...I'll get you for this".
2. Frigged around on the computer "comme d'habitude" for hours. Checked on the P.C. and realised the nifty Geoloc map wasn't appearing. It was fine on the iMac but not on the other. Sorted it. Changed fonts. Rearranged the Nav. Bar. Scratched my bum.
3. Wrote to a publisher threatening to set off a bomb in their premises unless they published "Almost F*%ked" which is now back under "Short Stories". Re-read it last night and laughed at my own jokes.
4. Planned the fabulous Chicken Tikka Masala and Lemon Delicious Pudding I'm going to make for Her Indoors tonight as I've been a shit to her lately.
5. Went to the Supermarché.
231239-197564-thumbnail.jpg6. Read Natalie's (a.k.a. Ella) Blog
dancing.gif Funny as a fart in a bottle, as usual. She's over there in Bumfuck, Tennessee, as she calls it, getting ready to throttle a turkey and making saucey with the cranberries. But she's got the flu and has had to ditch the plans for the Annual Family Invasion of the Bodysnatchers Thanksgiving Dinner. So she's probably down at the 711 as we speak rassling some big ol' homey bitch for the last of the giblets so she can feed her Southern Gentry "Gone With the Wind" dysfunctional family. Read it HERE at www.ella.journalspace.com The babe gets a thousand visitors a day! Mainly perverts in wheelchairs...but still.
7. Wrote some more.
8. Answered some email.
9. Checked the RADAR blog to see if Fingers has wet himself yet.
10. Did a load of washing.
11. Recorded four 3-minute episodes of my short short story "Fast Words in Fiji" on the Odeo Podcast Channel. You wanna hear 'em? Click this button My Odeo Channel Yeah, they're one-take specials. Yeah, I've got a shit voice. Waddya mean "Don't give up the dayjob"? This is my fucking dayjob, wise-arse.

Geeze...talk about "Desperate Housewives"...what about "Desperate Bloggers"?

Oh yeah...nearly forgot...the photo above. Taken in one of the catacombs under Paris. There are hundreds of miles of the things. There's a group of hard-core cataphiles who regularly explore them and map them and smoke hash in them. Even a bunch that set up an underground cinema under Trocadero powered by electricity they'd nicked from the grid.
231239-216417-thumbnail.jpg

And there's a sinister Nazi Bunker under the "Lycée Montaigne" - a high school near the Luxembourg Gardens. Its on the site of an ancient quarry. The Germans just improved it and turned it into an air-raid shelter. It still has on its walls some warnings like "Ruhe!" (keep silent) and "Rauchen Verboten" (no smoking). Its just below the "Quartier Latin". It's illegal to go there but we have ways and means of making you walk. Ha fucking Ha.231239-216902-thumbnail.jpg
nazi bunker

Go UNDER GROUND at www.infiltration.org/catacomb.htm And click on "Worldwide Links - France".

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Reader Comments (3)

Geoloc - enfin visible et tres cool!
November 24, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterOzzie
Mate .. Do I detect a trace of frustration? As in you write all this stuff and people read all this stuff but no-one says anything much? I would get frustrated too but you can't change human nature.

As a workaround I think you should devote a part of your fine blog specifically for your readers to comment.

Perhaps a suitable forum could be something like: "You know what I hate?"

To kick off the discussion I'd like to suggest:

"When I see some old prick and he actually doesn't look so old."

I'm sure that the good citizens of Blogland would be able to offer some superior peeves to my petty dissatisfactions but in any case I for one would be delighted to hear them.

BTW does "workaround" qualify as another new word?

November 27, 2005 | Unregistered CommenterProfessor Michael Davies
Yeah? I did have a discussion page up a month or so back and no-one said anything. I can put it back.
November 27, 2005 | Registered CommenterMalcolm Lambe

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